But what good is a fresh start if you don't like what it's leading to? Things have progressed to the point where I'm miserable. I'm tired of trying to live up to the expectations of others. I'm tired of feeling like I owe everything to other people.
I didn't regret leaving New Mexico when I lived in Arizona. I'm regretting it now. Sure, my boss drove me a little nuts at times. But I was in control of myself. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, and I didn't have to worry what people would think of me. I could just be myself - faults and all. I had good friends who liked me for who I was - not for who they thought I should be.
I can't concentrate on doing things I love (Actually, I can't do them, period). Everything has gone to hell, and I don't know how to fix or change anything.
What's worse is that I'm probably going to lose some friends when this is all said and done. Or at the very least, we'll be friends on the surface.|||108501096537364027|||WTF is going on?
|||how's the friend thing now? is it better, or are they still only surface friends?
Joe|||It's better now. Everything's been crazy, but things are settling down (got a job), and I think everything will be ok.