8/30/2004 08:07:00 AM|||Joe|||

Normalcy

Finally getting things into some kind of order.

My apartment is no longer looking vacant and bleak. A week and a half ago, I had just a recliner and an end table. There was a coffee table, but it was holding the 13ʺ TV I was borrowing. And I didn't have cable.

Now I've got nice shelves, an entertainment center and a couch. I have to say that I'm very happy with the Ikea here. It all cost me less than $600.

I'm a huge fan of Fight Club, and I'm fully aware of the irony.

Still, it actually appears that someone lives in my apartment now, so that's good.

I've kept the part-time job at Sears — I'm just working on Sundays. At 6 AM. Not my style. I'm thinking of changing to just working evenings a couple times a week. Not like I'm doing much with my evenings anyway.

Anxiety

For several weeks now, I've been dealing with chest pain. Usually on the left. Sometimes my left arm hurts too. It's often accompanied by a rapid heartbeat and sometimes shortness of breath.

At one point, about 2 weeks ago, I nearly went to the hospital.

Turns out, of course, that it has all been primarily due to stress:Add to that the fact that I somewhat recently removed myself from a very negative relationship and that I'm trying to adjust to living Minnesota. I don't care what anyone says — I love this state and the people here, but it's very different from the southwest. Takes some getting used to.

So I guess it adds up.

What distresses me more is not the anxiety, but the fact that I'm affected by it. My father has had problems with panic attacks before, and it's hereditary. I've neved had this sort of problem. I hope this is a one-time thing, because it really sucks to try to carry on a conversation with a co-worker while you're freaking out. Hard to act like everything's normal.

It's been better this past week. My parents came to visit. I wasn't as pleasant as I could have been, but being around them helped. Also, my sister got a dog. Playing with that little twirp kills more stress than anything else I've tried. The chest pain is less frequent and less acute, and the rapid pulse and shortness of breath only happen maybe once a day. And it's usually just been happening when I'm at home, which is good.|||109387939312152007|||Panic Attacks8/30/2004 03:02:00 PM|||Blogger Unknown|||Hi, my live journal friend!8/30/2004 09:10:00 PM|||Blogger Joe|||Hi!8/31/2004 04:28:00 PM|||Blogger Unknown|||What's up?